understanding

An understanding of death is what I had a microscopic glimpse of
when I look at my face in the mirror and wonder whether they
will force make up onto it while I lie in my coffin. An understanding of death
is what I had a tiny glimpse of when loving you and being reminded that nothing is forever although
some things are.
An understanding of death is looking at a portrait of my late
grandfather and realising that they say
the dead don’t talk in your dream
and thinking that their speechlessness resemble old paintings.

All in all, an understanding of death is looking,
wondering,
loving,
being reminded,
looking,
realising,
thinking

and impossible.