Around a week ago, my left index finger suddenly started to retrace a subtle scar on the flesh side of my left thumb.
I remember very clearly what happened. It was a hectic day and I was finishing up work just before having to run to catch a flight. I slit my thumb while cutting address labels. Bloody hell. Literally. I almost fainted – the wound was that deep.
It was 2004 and what surprised me is a re-realisation of the fact that scars, even when they heal, will always be part of your body, forever. Four years ago when it started to heal, my index finger started tracing this scar. Old habits die hard, and it can suddenly resurface. This one old habit resurfaced a few weeks ago when my index finger mindlessly decided to retrace the scar – a one-centimetre long very subtle yet very determined scar.
What surprised me even more is that even when I don’t have the story readily registered in the front rack of my mindmap, and that it had to be triggered by a reappearance, or rather a re-realisation, or a physical retracing of a scar, the memory is almost intact. Quite distant, but still, intact.
It’s still there. It’s telling me it will always be there until my body completely decays. If that’s only how long forever is.